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Hello, I’m Patrick McMillan with Kidscandoanything.com and I want to thank you for being here for our second in our ongoing series of short video articles designed to help you instill emotional intelligence in your kids.

Well, last week’s article was about gratitude and how to instill an attitude of gratitude in your kids and I hope that by doing so will provide them benefits that will last them the rest of their life.

Today’s article is about beliefs.  How we develop beliefs and how we can change them.

Beliefs will dictate what we do in our life.  Beliefs will also dictate what we won’t do in our life and experts agree that many of the self-limiting beliefs and disempowering beliefs that we have as adults were developed prior to the age of six.  Most of us can probably identify with developing of belief when were little that we still have today.  In fact, one of the most common fears that adults say they have is to speak in front of groups and that or another common belief is what I have to say isn’t important or people don’t listen to me.

Well, I remember in first grade being asked to come to the front of the class and share what I brought for show and tell and I vividly remember kids not listening or even laughing and thinking to myself, people really don’t care what I have to say and I mean, what I have to say isn’t important and that feeling of embarrassment and not wanting to speak in front of people anymore, in front of groups of people and until I was able to identify that belief and identify where it came from, and that it was an untrue belief, I was able to overcome it.

Now children will believe and we all will believe what we say and what we tell ourselves repeatedly, we will believe it.  Whether it’s true or whether it’s untrue.  Now, it’s very important to help a child instill empowering beliefs because right now, they’re in the process of developing self-limiting and disempowering beliefs that will last them a lifetime and certainly, come up to stop them.

So as an adult, what we can do to help our children is when we talk to them, when we can hear them explain things that happen, if you can detect a negative belief either about themselves or about other people or about the world around them, help them to dispel that belief especially if it’s a belief about themselves.

We actually have a tendency as adults to validate some of the negative beliefs that they already have.  For example, if you’re a parent, you can probably attest to the fact that our children want our attention and they seem to want our attention even more when we’re on the phone.  I know I’m guilty of it, and I’m sure many of you are as well that when your child comes up to you and wants to tell you something when you’re on the phone, you cover the receiver and you tell them, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?  I asked you not to interrupt me when I’m on the phone.”  Well, a small child can easily develop the belief that mom or dad don’t really care about what I have to say, what I have to say isn’t important and that’s a belief that will get ingrained into their subconscious mind and come up to stop them later in life.

Another big belief that is a big stopper from going for challenges and going for your dreams is that mistakes and failures are bad.  As children, we make mistakes.  We spill things, we make messes and we get in trouble for it and definitely, that will instill a belief that making mistakes and experiencing failure is a bad thing and we’ll certainly come up to stop them from accepting challenges.

So anytime you have an interaction with a child, always ask yourself this question, what belief may have they developed because of what I just said and if you think to yourself for a moment and if you find that belief may be negative or self-limiting, correct it immediately because it will affect the rest of their life.  Their subconscious mind will always believe whatever we tell it.  A child’s mind works the same way and those beliefs will definitely come up to stop them.

So, thank you again for watching our second in our series of video articles with Kids can do anything.  These videos are also brought to you by Backbone Communications.

Again, Patrick McMillan saying thank you and don’t forget to check out my character education program.