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“First of all, what is emotional intelligence? I bet you’ve read some fancy definitions, and maybe even some of the academic articles trying to distinguish between emotions, feelings and moods. Part of emotional intelligence is what we could call “common sense.” So, some common sense definitions of emotional intelligence (EQ) would be understanding your emotions and those of others, being able to sense what’s going on, being able to manage your own emotional state (taking the information but not getting drowned in it), good reality-testing, and good communication skills.

Emotions give us information but don’t need to be acted upon without thought. For instance, anger is good for telling us what we want but not for getting it.

Emotions aren’t “better” than thinking. Emotional intelligence is about the interface between the two. Good judgment and maturity require a balance between the two, i.e., you might feel like hitting someone, but if you stop and think, you’ll realize it won’t get you what you want, and also might land you in jail.”

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Emotional intelligence is the key not only to happiness and satisfaction with life, but the key to our health as well.  It makes perfect common sense that in order to have any control over how to react to life’s circumstances and adversities in a positive and productive way would be to have control over our ability to recognize and change our cognitive thinking, which in turn changes emotions.  This can only be achieved in the same way we learn to master anything, through knowledge, action, desire and determination.

Daniel Goleman, author of the classic book Emotional Intelligence says “The first opportunity for shaping the ingredients for emotional intelligence is in the earliest years, though these capacities continue to form throughout the school years.  The emotional abilities children acquire later in life build on those of the earliest years”

“A report from the National Center for Clinical Infant Programs makes the point that school success is not predicted by a child’s fund of facts or precocious ability to read so much as by emotional and social measures: being self-assured and interested; knowing what kind of behavior is expected and how to rein in the impulse to misbehave; being able to wait, to follow directions, and to turn to teachers for help; and expressing needs while getting along with other children.”  The report goes in to say “almost all students who door poorly in school lack one or more of these elements of emotional intelligence (regardless of whether they also have cognitive difficulties such as learning disabilities) and in some states close to one in five children have to repeat first grade, and then as years go on fall farther behind their peers, becoming increasingly discouraged, resentful and disruptive.”

A lack of emotional intelligence in childhood can have very disruptive effects in adult life as well in terms of relationships, career and parenting.  By providing children with character education and opportunities for social and emotional learning at the elementary level we will be giving them tools to weather any emotional storm that lay ahead of them.