Thinking Happy – A Skill to Teach Our Kids?

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Thinking happy thoughts at will is a skill that we can learn and teach our children, and certainly one we should teach them, after all happiness is what every parent wishes for their child right?.  But how do we instill habits of happy thinking in ourselves and our kids?

First, it helps to understand what factors determine our happiness or satisfaction with life in general.

According to Sonja Lubromirski PhD. author of The How of Happiness, there are three main factors that influence our happiness:

  • Genetics
  • Environment
  • Voluntary Choice

How happy our parents, and their parents were determines a big part of how happy WE are.  In fact research shows that genetics accounts for almost half of our current level of life satisfaction, around 40-50%.

If your grandparent was more prone to optimistic thinking, that trait becomes somewhat imprinted on your genetic code.  However, more recent groundbreaking research is finding that the programming of the sub-conscious mind plays a much larger role in our mental and physical development and this programming begins BEFORE conception.

Surprisingly, our environment plays a much smaller part than you might imagine.  Roughly only 10% of our happiness is influenced by what happens around us and those things that occur out of our control like other people, the economy, the weather etc.  Our happiness actually depends how we react to “what happens” rather than the actual event, and how we react is based very much on our sub-conscious beliefs and programming we picked up from observing our parents and how they reacted to events and interactions with others.

The best part is that the remaining 40-50% happens to be our own voluntary CHOICE to BE happy.  This determining factor in our level of happiness is one that we ultimately have complete and total control over.  This is the best, yet most challenging part for many people because many of us are not entirely aware of what REALLY makes us happy.  In addition to not knowing what truly makes us happy, we may also have to challenge previously held sub-conscious beliefs that can limit our ability to consciously choose happiness.  Beliefs and pre-programmed sub-conscious behaviors that we learned from our parents and teachers.

In fact, many of the beliefs we hold in our sub-conscious mind that dictate much of how our life unfolds were developed before we turned six years old, and most were instilled by our parents and teachers.  Some beliefs can be very limiting and hold us back from realizing our true potential for happiness and finding our purpose in life, however these beliefs can be identified and be replaced with more self-fulfilling and positive beliefs.

Then we can get down the process of truly creating the kind of happy life we want and deserve by using proven tools and techniques that WILL increase our level of satisfaction with life and open the doors of possibility.  We really can believe we deserve to lead a happy life.

Now, this is not to say that unhappiness will cease forever, because that is not only impossible, but also unhealthy to believe.  Humans are at the top of the food chain, or at least very near the top, because of our incredible conscious and sub-conscious mind and our ability to feel and react to the wide range of emotions we feel.

However, scientific research has shown some remarkable benefits to being happier:

  • longer life
  • Less Illness
  • Longer and happier relationships
  • Greater academic achievement
  • Greater career and financial success

If you could choose to be happier, which by the way YOU CAN, and you had the tools to make it happen and the belief you could use these tools to live an abundantly happy life, would you?

If you knew that by using techniques proven to increase your own happiness, you are at the same time providing these tools to your children and that you are instilling the beliefs they can be anything, do anything and have the life they want and deserve, would you use them?

In October, 2010, a first ever, FREE  On-line Expo is taking place that will change the lives of millions of parents, teachers and children around the world.  This event will provide tools and life changing information to parents and teachers to help teach their children how to live the outstanding life they deserve.

HAPPIER KIDS NOW!

Featuring live interviews with 21 of the worlds leading experts in childhood development, parenting and education Happier Kids Now is an event that every parent and teacher will not want to miss.

Visit Happier Kids Now to receive  V.I.P Sign-Up  Notification, important dates/times and call in details, and for an up to date list of guest expert speakers.

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Good Mornin’ Detroit!

Sunday, April 18th at 8:30 am (EST), ya, so thats 6:30 am my time here in Denver, I will be a guest on the morning drive show on CKLW AM 800 Detroit/Windsor to talk about Kids Can Do Anything, An Exercise in Happiness and the upcoming Happier Kids Now! event slated for October 2010.

So, if you are in the Detroit/Windsor Ontario area on Sunday April 18th, please tune into AM 800 CKLW (the 5000 watt Monster) at 8:30 am.

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Happier Kids – NOW!

Pressure on students and teachers continues to intensify, while resources are drying up and traditional educational methods are failing. Our kids are paying a terrible price, not only in academic achievement but in emotional health. Stress related health problems, youth violence, drug abuse and depression are rising at alarming rates and will continue rise unless serious action is taken, NOW!

The urgency to help our children has reached a critical level. Though children represent only a part of the population, they represent 100% of our future and to see they are given tools to navigate through life with optimism and self-confidence is our job, their parents and teachers, and certainly one we must take seriously.

As a parent of two young people I see first hand the stress they and their peers are under at school and being very involved at their school and I can see, and feel the pressure their teachers are under as well.

Millions of adults across America, and across the globe for that matter are feeling more stress than ever before in our lifetimes and the reasons for these increasing stress levels are obvious.

You can turn on the local or national news and be inundated with pessimism, uncertainty and sadness which can’t help but make matters even worse.

According to Harvard Medical School, the rate of clinical diagnosis of depression in children has been increasing by 23% per year, and that onset ages continue to decrease.

It seems every day we are reminded of how bad things are and this is clearly effecting our children.  However, at the same time ground breaking studies are confirming that we can empower our kids to weather this storm and grow from these experiences, and that we can actually instill emotional habits in our kids that will buffer them against anxiety and depression.

The Time is NOW!

Our kids are in the midst of developing beliefs about themselves, their ability to succeed, other people, money, relationships and of course their future.  We did the same thing, in fact most of the self-limiting beliefs that hold back so many adults from living the life they really want were developed before six years old.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were somewhere a parent or teacher can go to get information on the latest research and learn powerful techniques to empower themselves and their kids to live a full and happy life?

Well, Now There Is… and its happening in October 2010

Happier Kids NOW!

Happier Kids Now will provide you with tools to help your children and teens:

  • Reduce stress and anxiety
  • Improve concentration and academic performance
  • Understand the brain science linking emotions, thoughts and behaviors
  • Manage emotions and behavior more effectively
  • Develop greater empathy for others and the world
  • Be more optimistic and happy

Visit HappierKidsNow.com and register to receive V.I.P notification of dates, times, access information and up to date additions of Expert Guest Speakers, in addition to special FREE gifts and offers:)

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Are You in Alignment?

Being in alignment with your desires and goals from the inside out will help you to achieve whatever it is you want in life. But, the problem is that most people do the opposite. They have a conscious desire to either find a relationship, get out of debt, lose weight, heal from heartache or whatever the case may be. But their inner beliefs are what stop them from getting what they desire.

Read this entire post

I just love getting Susan Russo’s blog postings in my email inbox because she knows exactly what she is talking about.  Susan’s message is so powerfully important for every parent and teacher to understand because you will be a model of inspiration to your children.

Having your thoughts, emotions and beliefs in alignment with what it is you desire is precisely how to use the incredible power of thought and emotional energy to live into your deepest desires.

Teaching your children about this powerful information will change the direction of their life.

Using An Exercise in Happiness is a hands on way to teach these lessons to your kids and for them to actually put the lessons into action developing habits of happiness that will keep them in alignment with their deepest dreams and desires.  They will learn  to set and achieve their goals without fear or self-doubt.

Character education and social/emotional learning involves understanding how to better our control our own emotions and to read and react positively to the emotions of others.  Learning how and why something works the way it does gives us greater control over it and how our mind and thought energy works uses the same logic. Giving our kids tools to learn about the power they already have, and to put it to use their life will not only effect the rest of their lives, but impact the world in such a positive way.

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The Causes of Happiness

“I read in today’s paper that a Columbia University study spent ten-years rating the health impact of happiness on more that 1,700 people. The researchers concluded that happy people are more likely to have less heart disease than grumpy people. So this suggested consulting wikiHow to find some of the causes happiness, which is the subject of today’s post.”

Read this full article

This is another well written article about how people can, if they choose, reap the benefits of maintaining a happy and optimistic outlook on life.  Almost every published article I have read about happiness carries the same message, which to many people may sound like self-help.  But this goes beyond your everyday self-help stuff.  The author of this article clearly has done their homework on the science of happiness, and the research he refers to is real and available to anyone who chooses to find it.  You will find several links on the Kids Can Do Anything website to this research.

I have read thousands of pages of literature and listened to hours of lectures and seminars from some of the top scholars on the planet in the field of Positive Psychology, Emotional Development, Personal Growth, Quantum Physics and Neuroscience and the scientific evidence is overwhelming that not only can we choose to experience more happiness in our daily lives than unhappiness, but it is actually a lot easier than you might think.  Replacing any habit can be challenging, and changing the habits we have in terms of how we think also poses a great challenge to many people because of years and years of the same pattern of negative thinking.  But the really good news is that the human brain is built for change.  We can, if we choose, change our way of thinking to a more productive and positive way of thinking in 30 days or less of consciously doing what it takes. This article has simple techniques anyone can start using today to begin the process of living a happier life.

Instilling positive thinking, and acting, habits in our children is crucial to their future happiness and successes in all aspects of their lives, not to mention they will be healthier too.

An Exercise in Happiness is a tool for children to use that will help instill these habits.  My children and I have been doing An Exercise in Happiness for a lot longer than 30 days, and the results I see and feel in myself and my kids is truly wonderful.  We FEEL great, and grateful together everyday for the once in a lifetime opportunity to have a lifetime, and to live it to it absolute fullest every moment of every day.

Living life “in the moment” seems to make time slow down.  Another wonderful benefit of BEING HAPPY NOW!

When we changed our beliefs that being successful at something, be it sports, academics or whatever, will lead to our being happier, to being happier will lead to those successes,  everything changed.

Being happy now became our daily priority and everything else has effortlessly followed.

Both boys had their best report cards ever this past semester, and they both noticed how easy it was when their focus was on feeling good in order to do well, and that is exactly what happened.

UPCOMING SPECIAL EVENTS:

I will be a guest on two different radio shows next week (March 8th and March 11th) where I will go into detail about An Exercise in Happiness.  Both shows are available to listen to on-line.

I will post a blog with the time and links to the shows so plase check back, or follow me on twitter, join the Kids Can Do Anything Group on Facebook, or become a friend on Facebook.

Thanks for reading:)

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A Special Thank You!!!

Of course we are all dumbfounded as to what could possibly posses an adult to open fire on innocent children as they are anxiously ending their school day and leaving or home.  This is exactly what happened on February 23rd at 3:15pm at Deer Creek Middle school in Littleton Colorado, the same city where Columbine High School was the focus of international attention eleven years ago.

I am writing this post today to say a heartfelt THANK YOU! to Dr. David Benke, the math teacher HERO that tackled and subdued the gunman as he attempted to reload his high powered rifle.

“Math teacher Dr. David Benke tackled and disarmed the gunman, and then helped subdue him until police arrived moments later.

Steve Potter, a Deer Creek bus driver, witnessed Benke’s heroics.

“Dr. Benke was out there at the time the school was being let out. It looked to me like he heard the shot and decided to react accordingly,” Steve Potter told FOX31 News. “There was a little bit of a wresting match for about 5 seconds or so,” before Benke had disarmed the gunman, Potter said.”

Read the full story

My boys go to an Elementary School less than 2 miles from Deer Creek Middle School, so this story hit very close to home for me and my kids.  We moved to Littleton just over a year ago from Bailey Colorado, where less than 5 years ago Platte Canyon High School lost a precious young student in a senseless act of an adult terrorizing kids.

For very good reasons our children are scared, in fact I can see how it would be very difficult to trust any adult stranger.  But I believe their is an opportunity in this recent tragic event, where thankfully no lives were lost thanks to the heroics of Dr. Benke, in that teachers, school staff, parents and kids can work together to help ensure one another’s safety.

This is an opportunity to share with kids the extreme importance in developing strong character and emotional intelligence.  To build a sense of compassion for others and to care about the wellbeing of their fellow student.   To let others know “I’ve got your back” instills a sense of security in their knowing that others care about them.

After an incident like this, is the time when our kids need us the most, to reassure them they are safe and loved, and to let them know that they also need to stick up for and watch out for each other.

So, thank you again Dr. Benke for letting our kids know that You’ve Got Their Back:)

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What We Get When We Give

Researchers spend a lot of time debating whether any altruistic act is ever truly selfless because we benefit so much when we are kind to others. I think of kindness like laughter: we might be laughing because we want someone else to feel good about their joke, but mostly we laugh because it feels good. Like laughter, kindness is a terrific happiness habit, good for both our physical and emotional well-being.

Read the full article

In this wonderful article Dr. Christine Carter PhD. , Director of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley talks about devloping habits that foster happiness and that giving to others is one of those habits that will provide benefits that seem almost to good to be true. BUT ITS TRUE!!

The very best way to instill the habit of giving to others in our children is for them to see US giving to others.  Now this does not mean we have to empty our pockets to everyone we see.  In fact helping or giving to others does not have to be about money.  Giving someone a smile when they look like they could use one is a great way to give.  You and your kids will get many smiles in return.

The mountains of research that now exists to prove beyond a doubt that giving to others or helping others feel good will make us feel better, both physically and emotionally, is wonderful but we don’t really need the research to tell us this.

Most of us already know how great we feel inside when we have helped or given to someone in need.   I think it is also important to note that the opposite is also true in that when we take from others or intentionally make others feel bad we are hurting ourselves far deeper than we might think.  It is not possible to be truly happy inside when we know our actions have hurt someone else.

I don’t know if the science is out yet on that yet, but it just makes sense that “we reap what we sow”.

An Exercise in Happiness, and the soon to be available Attracting Happiness, are “happiness habits” tool kits to help instill the habits that promote character growth and happiness.

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The Winter Olympics – An Inspiring Opportunity

Even if your kids aren’t much into winter sports, or any sports for that matter, to watch the Olympics with your kids is an opportunity for them to see others who are giving it everything they’ve got to live their dream.

These events are also an opportunity for me as a parent to recognize the role these Olympic athlete’s parents play in supporting their children by doing whatever it takes to help their children realize their dreams.

This is not to say that our kids should strive to become Olympic athletes, but to simply let our kids know we are there to support them in whatever they choose to pursue with passion.  It is our job to help them recognize the activivities they put them in a state of “flow” or “in the zone” when they are engaged in that activity, and encourage them to enjoy it as often as possible, and as often as they wish.

If we can help our kids set expectations for themselves rather than thinking they need to live up to our expectations of them they will be more likely to find what it is that ignites their flame of passion and purpose.

Setting goals and visualizing living life to its fullest is not only an enjoyable activity but it sets into motion the creative process.

An Exercise in Happiness is a tool to help kids put these techniques into action

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The Effective Use of Apologies with Young Children

Learning how to apologize is a vital skill for healthy emotional development and for successful relationships.  There will inevitably be hurts, wrongdoings, and misunderstandings in any relationship involving two people.  The hurts are to be expected because humans by nature are imperfect. The hurts in and of themselves don’t necessarily determine whether or not a relationship is harmed in a significant way, but how those hurts are dealt with (or not) and repaired (or not) influences the success of the relationship.

Most of us want our children to learn how to apologize effectively.  But when and how we should expect our children to apologize isn’t always clear.  For a better understanding of this, I first turn to what constitutes a proper apology.  Last year my book club read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.  My favorite part of that book was where Pausch described the three parts of a good apology.  In fact, I liked this part so much that I made sure everyone in my family read those two pages of the book!

Read full article

In this enlightening article Dr. Kathleen Cuneo, PhD. talks about the importance of learning to apologize and how modeling the ability to apologize with meaning to our child will enable them to do the same giving them social and emotional tools that will provide many benefits that will last a lifetime.

As a father of two young boys it is important to me that when I mess up, I recognize it, I apologize with heartfelt feeling and make up for my mistake in some way.  By showing my children that I take responsibility for my behavior, they learn to do the same.

The same holds true for the ability to forgive and be grateful.  When one of my boys apologizes for their behavior, I am always willing to forgive them.  I also let them know that if I seem upset or disappointed, it is their behavior, not themselves that got me upset. Having the ability to forgive allows us to maintain meaningful relationships and releases emotional stress, which we all know has huge physical benefits.

I am truly grateful when my kids bring there dishes to the kitchen after meals or when they straighten up their room when I ask them, and I always let them know how grateful I am.

An Exercise in Happiness is a tool I have used at home with my kids for a long time and it has helped both myself and my kids devlop the ability to apologize with meaning, forgive with empathy and to be grateful for everything and everyone we have in our life.

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Family Day

I just wanted to point out that Monday, February 15th is Family Day in Canada.  This is a National Holiday in Canada and frankly I am suprised America has not followed Canada’s lead in making a special day to celebrate the FAMILY!

But do we really need the Federal Government to tell us to take a day to devote to acknowledging our family and making a day of it?  Of course we can pick a day out of the year and call it Family Day and even make it an annual family tradition.  Though it would be nice if everyone had the day off work and schools were closed for the day.  I believe that honoring the family is equally, if not even more important that devoting only one day to focus on Gratitude.  Every day should be a day to be grateful, and every day should be a day to honor our family.

In our family we celebrate Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Brother’s Day (we have two sons) and of course all the other National Holiday’s, but Canada has given me the inspiration to create Family day too.

Character Education begins at home so to focus on family for a day is a character building tool every family can take advantage of.

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